Feelings

I'm back to blogging.
not really, but i just want to vent the feelings out.

When you thought everything was fine, you're doing great, you're improving.
Sometimes you reflect, whats the motive behind everything you do?
What's the fuel that drove you on?

Till you realise, that source of fuel isn't there anymore.
Till you ran off track and did something else instead.
From the start, you didn't know what will happen during that progress, you don't know whats the ending, you just know you have to keep going.
AND till you think that you deserve to do what people did to you.
So i ask myself, are you happy right now?
you cant get what you want, you find no meaning to it.

You ask yourself every single day, what to achieve at the end of the day?
Few times you miss the past.
Few times you hate yourself for doing what you've done.
You thought you had moved on, did you?
Do you understand what you're doing right now?

Sometimes, it's just something that you can never get.
You don't know why, even though you've tried so hard.
Getting out of that comfort shell, initiating what you'll never ever thought you would, somethings, you just can't get.

The memories with you just turn into something that was part of me
even though it's been so long, i hope one day i can find my new source of fuel.
Forget the past, and give what i gave you.
i hope i still can.