COLOURRUN 2014

Have been extremely lazy to blog lately, even though every time i've opened this platform and on some music, ready to type something i will end up getting distracted.
Holidays is here, YAYERS. Started my Holidays with an amazing event, Colour Run, which i never had imagine or expected myself to attend, indeed the happiest 5k i ever had. Because the 2.4 i had for my 5 years of secondary school i had never enjoyed, once.

Here,

Selfie in the morning before i head out. Yeah, i'm going on a run and had makeup on.

Stay glamorous bitches.

Just before the run, everyone still clean. My "clan" had high white socks as identity cuz we are not boring.

With my girlies, appreciating the last chance to be clean.

Didn't have any images during the run cus having coloured phone isn't fun.

Instead, Finished the race with the best feeling.

Trying to take a "After run" photo but realised i look like i haven't went for the run yet LOL.

Lighting was still good.

Close-up selfie with guys.

Acting all model as usual.

Slutz unite.

spam.

We look too clean beside the guys, bimbo vibes caught.

I think i cute. 

Last shot before we hit the crowd.

Great crowd, great company, music wasn't enjoyable for me tho.

Look like bullcrap here but just look at the photobomb behind. 

Tired niggers. Grew a unibrow after the event. hmm.

Event was definitely a success, this year was an eventful year for me yet. Tried so many new things that i would never imagined trying, went to places where i haven't explored in my 18 years old life. More to come when im legal in 2 more weeks! Kind of neutral about it, not very excited but definitely excited for my journey.Always trying to be better for myself and fighting hard to fulfill the dreams i have yet to accomplish. Well,to be honest, there aren't really something i want to fight for, or work hard for right now. I'm just continue living my life, anticipating every single laughter and smile. Because what is most important even despite struggles or unhappiness, being myself and improving is what is most important.

Motivations.

12/08/2014

Its been 4 months since i started my new life in tertiary, never did i even expected, up to today i'm still so amused how did i even manage to settle down here, do i even deserve all these?
I mean, this isn't my ideal school, and i even considered hard if i should accept coming in to this school. In the end, with my right mind(i hope) i still decided to continue and try to pursue my education, although this might not be the course i might like. Ended up, i really think that my interests in building up here.
I couldn't say that there isn't any changes compared to secondary school and there isn't much changes as well.
The people there are still the same, the way and culture of RP definitely has a great change in my life, as for now, i'm adapting to it pretty well.
As for me, as a person-my character and all, i'm not sure if its me but i did open up so much more, no longer the awkward turtle that doesn't know how to speak. Which is really a good change.

This post is going to be a super picture content post:

Still remember how this photo was taken before i started my tertiary education, which ofcourse i still had my brown hair. and it looks damn hideous here as well. 

Starting of school having our first or second week i guess? Look how awkward it was and how mandy's hair had grew so much. HAHAHAHAHA,

My two babies. The one that stuck by me from the start till now. I think this was the first photo when we found out that we are all so vain bout ootd(together) and tried so hard to take "couple shots".

MY VERY FIRST OOTD SHOT IN SCHOOL-AT CLASS. ERMAGERD.

We actually found out that there is this room call the black and white room ( isit?) and decided to stick our asses there.

Art history module set us a dress code- gothic. Finally a chance to wear my leather jacket without getting judge to school cus bitches i've got reason for it. And my face overly exposed as usual.

Just me, being cute. As usual. oops. 

Denim on denim with baez

Sentosa trip during the 2 weeks holiday..

Just us, with pandee.

I think we are really siblings mel.

DON'T U DARE JUDGE ME BITCH, IM KOOL K IM KOOL.

Just some photoshop assignments did during class for interactive media module.Definitely gonna look back 2 years later and laugh at it.

Just our mission to eat then to school carpark. The journey is pain, look at the weather and look what i'm wearing.

OOTD shot again, i bet people will be like " wtf this girl go to school to be a model or study"

at the legendary shutter that everyone is trying to find LOL.

6-3+1

Haji lane trying to obtain the "street style" shot HAHA.

I love my flowy long kimono and im gonna slam it on your face.

Drawing module at itotallyforgotwhereisitbutya. prob the last class "outing"? 

Went to have our korean bbq and then dye our hair togetherrrrrr

I know my face look damn shag here, cus you don't expect me to look awake after sitting down there for 3 hours right. BTW, the experience to the hair salon sucks. SUCKS. The service suck, which salon actually calls the customer to blow dry their own hair? (Although they didnt ask me to blow dry my hair myself, and I WILL NOT.) but urg, it irks me cus the damn guy that did my hair asked my friends to blow dry my hair. SERIOUSLY DUDE? and although i really liked my hair in this photo, cus the shade of blue is the one i wanted, but my hair now look like fking vomit. it's so uneven and it turned back to green. my blue hair turned grey, i really dont mind how it became green or grey cus its rather ash toned, which i kind of like, but the fact that my hair have almost 5 colours- black brown green grey and fking streaks of blonde sucks. the person did not dye my hair properly, rubbed my hair against each other as if he is doing a great job and ended up staining the bleach up my original hair, leaving patches of light brown there. AND my previous bleached green hair was unevenly bleached and it still has that patch of green now.

If i ever go back, it's because of the price, which i guess its the cheapest that i can find now. i dont think i will go back, to get vomit hair again.

Close ups for my hair, you can already see how my hair has different tone, can't blame because my bluer part was double bleached. but i will appreciate if the person did not leave my hair brown before applying the blue.

ok just a selfie for ya. 

Had my virgin try at chompchomp that day, food was good, price was okay, accompany was perfect. and perhaps you should excuse my laughing so badly face because there was a reason why i laughed so retardedly. 

TGIF last week friday, went to a bar nearby at woodlands and ordered the cosmopolitan, - vodka, triplesec(?), cranberry and lemon. taste like med as usual.

ootd shots and alot not posted cus im lazy.

lazy to even type the next word altho im comtradicting myself now. 

byez

mind over matter

I just hope just a small little part of you keep you going. Despite matter and matters that crumbled you, push you down to the lowest point. Just a right mind of you keeps you going. Just a right mind of you will bring you to realisation that all these sadness you had wasn't worth a tear. I am not influential, not at all. Things i said was always deemed bullshit. Whenever people tell me their problems and all i can always write a essay long of "preaching" to them. Till now none of my words had got into anyone. Absolutely no one. I hope just a word of mine can get into you, just a word of mine can change that state of mind you're in right now. I really don't know what to do cus im gone with the problems i used to had, that i can totally feel you and that time you couldn't understand. I used to keep everything to myself, burst it all on myself and blame it all on me. I learn to be stronger, positive and things that once pulled me down isn't a reason for me to fall again. It didn't take days, weeks not even months to learn to get to this point. It took years and years for me, Only thing that i can do is not to drown myself into thoughts that does not exist, thoughts that ran wild, and did not even happened. That was the thoughts that killed me inside. I can't bring back my old self, with feelings for things. I don't know if its good or not but that is what it is. I'm living up my life for myself, for people that cares.I hope you too. that thought of it will be gone, not now not months, it will take a few years. It's your choice if you want to drown yourself. I will always be here for you, said it so many times, really up to you to listen.

Disclosure

Feels like Secondary school all over again writing such posts, about myself.

I feel that there is this need to clear the air of mine that i had bottled up recently.

Nope, not trying to act like one innocent fake prick and gain sympathy or whatever.

Everyone HAVE their own opinion and YOU have your own choice of opinion about me and i really can't be bothered if you know nuts about me.

I mean if i can't stand up for myself irl, but YES, of course i can and i would stand up for myself normally, but nah, i really don't see a point in it to try and stand up for myself anymore. So i'm just gonna raise it in this small space. I HAVE to clarify about myself. not pinpointing to anyone or whomever. Just me. My story and my journey to who i am right now.

Primary school, i was just a nerd noob shit kid that is boring and nothing really exciting happened to my life, so skip this part. 

Secondary school, I would say i will never ever want to go back to my secondary school life ever again- point 1, TOO much problems and troubles, too much. 

Point 2, My school Sucks

Point 3, My grades sucks.

-

Point was, who i hung out with was all mainly girls and i barely hang out with guys during my upper secondary period. I'm called quiet, soft spoken and reserved. THAT was true. I hang out with the same girls and not close to any guys at all. Only 1 guy friend of mine was my closest one after secondary 4 or 5. RX if you're reading this thats you. 

So, i swear after secondary 5 to Poly i changed a lot, i became more outspoken, noisy and i will speak up my point when i really feel the need to, i used to keep it in me and just tolerate all the shit. Friends of mine, evident this. 

Poly, i forged friendships that i thought would last, hoped it would. 

I knew more guy friends despite having only 7 guys in my 22 students class. I got closer to the guys than to any girls. I said to even my closer or closest friends- I want to make friends with guys, AND NO, it is not because i want to be the limelight of all guys or whtsoever of what you're thinking. Girls are drama queens, correct me if im wrong. Even if i'm a girl, Its true, no? Compare girls with guys, not being a sexist or whatever but girls creates more drama with the tiniest problem on Earth and guys are like whtever. I dare to say this to my girl friends because its true, every girl knows that.

So i'm closer to the guys in my class. Of course i know, gossips and judgments are bound to happen. 

But what to do? They don't even know nuts about me and decided to drop judgments about me.

People see me playing and having fun with em and decided to give me that death stare and looks that they thought i didn't know. Talk behind me as if i am some oblivious eff. 

What i am trying to say is, if anyone thought or ever think that i'm close with the guys because i am some playgirl or trying to seek all the guy's attention, can you just venture to 2014 already? Doesn't mean that whenever a female is rather "close" to a guy means that there is a chance of having any sexual activities or any dating shit you are thinking. Girl(or guys), If you think i am a damn slut that goes around guys and pleasuring them or seducing them, im telling you that I AM NOT.

Pluhese, At least the guys im closer with rn don't judge me. Like you are, if you ever thought things about me. 

We share the common interest, common topic , doesn't mean different gender and im just abit closer to them means i am a slut.

According to thefreedictionary. AND that was incase you accidentally described me as a slut.

And i am kind of annoyed when people ask me " Do you always put make up to school?" " Why you put makeup sia" " Why you put such a red lipstick to school?" 

- can i just clarify,

Firstly, i have the lowest self-esteem if you want to ask.

NEVER thought that i am pretty. I do point bout girls that are pretty or not pretty, because who says a ugly girl can't point about that right? WHICH makes sense why i put makeup too?

ALSO, my dream was to be a makeup artist if i failed my o levels. I have really great interest in different makeup designs and dream was, i want to make girls feel pretty, atleast for a day. 

Does it make sense why i helped many of my friends to do makeup and im like one ugly piece of shit beside them after that?

I HAD never ever compared myself with my friends or whoever, never ever will. No matter how you feel about me of your own opinion. dont put it in my mouth. I HAD NEVER COMPARED.

TRUE enough i'm very insecure bout myself and just by putting the amount of makeup i put, just makes myself a little more confident than this: 

I Don't put makeup to school or out to attract guy's attention. I can't bring myself to have bareface out. Its just me, call me vain or fake. But i rather look "fake" than being natural and downright ugly. Unless i have freaking flawless face, big eyes and full brows, apparently i have none. Sparse brows and small single eyelid. THATS WHY I NEED MAKE UP RIGHT. I THINK IT IS QUITE OBVIOUS WHY I NEED IT NOW RIGHT. SO PLEASE I BEG THE SHIT OUT OF YOU STOP ASKING ME.

My purpose of this post may sound confrontational, pinpointing anyone. No, but if the shoe fits you then go ahead. However, thats what i feel about me and i feel that i need to say it out. Just yknow, writing up a story about me.

GN, still got school tomorrow, didn't realise it's late already.